Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
