so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize