You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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