Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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