so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
