Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
