Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize