Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
