Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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