Your tits are I can't wait for
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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