i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
