We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
