I love black thongs
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
