Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
