i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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