my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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