Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
