More tranny stories later!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
