When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
