you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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