Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize