Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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