Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
