Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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