feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well you can't waste a boner
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
