You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
