M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
