do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize