From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
