Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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