i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I still have a little drunk in my system
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
