that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
