I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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