Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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