Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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