"it" just moved
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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