so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
