We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're my little dorito
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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