I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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