This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize