Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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