whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
