Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
