you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize