he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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