I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
