yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize