What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
