Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
