What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
