please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
