Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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