Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
