was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
