I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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