apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
