I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
