He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize