Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
