Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
