cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We smell like vodka and hangover
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
