just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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