I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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