i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
