Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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