You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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