You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
COCAINE IS GR8
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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