You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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