handjob tips. give me some.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
